Do You Know Jack Schitt?
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and O.Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of the Knee-deep N Schitt Inn. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and couple produced 6 children: Holy Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after childbirth. Next came two daughter’s, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt; twin sons, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt; and another son, Bull Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. Dip Schitt married Loada Schitt and they produced a faint-hearted son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens sisters in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt, and Hoarse Schitt. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride, a spicy little number named, Pisa Schitt, and they are proudly awaiting the arrival of Baby Schitt.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, and she wanted to keep her previous name: Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Now I know that’s a Lotta Schitts to remember, but now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them.