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Author Topic: You guys don't know Jack!!  (Read 316 times)

Offline Deadeye74X2

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You guys don't know Jack!!
« on: June 06, 2017 - 08:33:27 pm »
Do You Know Jack Schitt?

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and O.Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of the Knee-deep N Schitt Inn. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and couple produced 6 children: Holy Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after childbirth. Next came two daughters, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt; twin sons, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt; and another son, Bull Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.  Dip Schitt married Loada Schitt and they produced a faint-hearted son, Chicken Schitt.   Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens sisters in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt, and Hoarse Schitt.   Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride, a spicy little number named, Pisa Schitt, and they are proudly awaiting the arrival of Baby Schitt.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, and she wanted to keep her previous name: Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Now I know thats a Lotta Schitts to remember, but now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them.




Offline plumcrazzy

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Re: You guys don't know Jack!!
« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2017 - 08:36:43 pm »
 :roflsmiley: :roflsmiley: :roflsmiley: :roflsmiley:

Offline LAA66

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Re: You guys don't know Jack!!
« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2017 - 09:25:28 pm »
 :roflsmiley: Wish I could remember all that Schitt for the next party.  :roflsmiley:


Offline plumcrazzy

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Re: You guys don't know Jack!!
« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2017 - 08:58:28 pm »
You did, however, forget Great, Great, Great, Grandfather--Givva Schitt.

Offline Deadeye74X2

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Re: You guys don't know Jack!!
« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2017 - 02:07:09 pm »
LAA66...if you can memorize that you definitely know Jack!! I have to go back over each line while I'm reading it!  :roflsmiley:

Plum...from the stories told by the old-timers at the old Schitt house...their GGG Grandfather Schitt had just invented the fan...but one day he got too close to it and....well lets just say it was a mess and is still talked about to this day!!  :2thumbs:

Offline TelisSE440

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Re: You guys don't know Jack!!
« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2017 - 03:15:11 pm »
 :2thumbs:  :smilielol:

Offline plumcrazzy

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Re: You guys don't know Jack!!
« Reply #6 on: June 08, 2017 - 09:17:39 pm »
I must apologize in advance for the following additions to this post but this just tickles the schitt out of me and I can't resist---I'm hooked.

When the whole family gets into their big RV for vacation that's a real load of Schitts.

They recently had a gig on a comedy show just for Schitts and giggles.

Sorry